Traveling Alone While Married: Why Solo Travel is Important | Motherhood Unplugged

"I didn't get married to travel alone!"

That's the number one statement I heard from my husband when I started to tell him that I wanted to travel alone. You might ask, "What is he going to do while I'm gone?" Um, just go on living + take care of his children. I usually respond with a laugh + stern rebuttal because I really don't understand what the problem is here regarding this idea. As a SAHM + wife I spend the majority of my time with my family. Although, I do have friends + associates here in my city, I don't really get out to see them very often because my family life consumes me and sometimes it can feel suffocating. I love traveling and have done so since I was a young lady. In fact, when I first met my husband I took him on a vacation to Mexico. He was the type of guy that worked 60+ hours a week as an accountant and never came up for breath during busy season. I'm the total opposite, when I worked I always knew every paid holiday and my vacation accrual down to the hour. I'm not the gal that lets her vacation roll over or expire.

To me solo travel while married isn't harmful to my relationship, in fact, it does exactly the opposite. As stated in my momcation post, it can make you appreciate each other much more because after all doesn't absence make the heart grow fonder? Traveling alone can make your partnership stronger and I have been encouraging my husband to take a solo trip for months now but he has yet to book one.

Here are all of the reasons why you should travel solo while married:

We are not a SINGLE ENTITY

Contrary to popular belief, married couples don't have to do everything together. I love my husband and my children but I crave solitude on a daily basis. I also want us to both have our own lives outside of our family life. After all, getting hitched doesn't mean you have to give up on your aspirations, dreams and goals just because you now have a wedding band on your finger or have birthed children. The idea of giving up the things I wish to accomplish simply because he may not be interested in it is preposterous! It also sounds restrictive and forced and I'm not living in one of those countries where women are subservient to men. #girlpower

Getting out to travel the world solo is so enlightening and also personally challenging. I experienced a total new normal when on my trip to Belize. I immediately had to get comfortable being alone and as much as I craved it, the reality still felt weird at first but it was a feeling I embraced more and more as the distance widened between myself + my home. This trip taught me to face my fears and that I can handle being thrown a wrench in my plans like arriving to the airport to learn the taxi to the hotel is $225USD!!!. It taught me that I was brave enough to handle riding through the jungle, in a strange taxi, with a strange man + praying that we make it safely to our destination. If you haven't faced life alone, outside of your comfort zone you haven't lived.

We can do whatever we want!

My husband and I enjoy some of the same things but I tend to end up convincing him to join me + the kids on most of the things I wish to do outdoors OR simply doing it alone with the children and leaving him at home. He spent 10 years in the military traveling and serving our country. In doing so, he's been faced with his own challenges and has seen the other side of humanity when it comes to the evils of the world so he is not always so enthusiastic about going, seeing and experiencing new places and cultures. I totally understand his point of view but that is not MY reality so I don't believe that I should keep myself sheltered from what's out there just because he's been there done that and ain't going back! I LOVE the outdoors and he's more of an indoors person. I can literally hike for miles in the wilderness and be totally in my own world but that's not his idea of fun and that's OK.

The truth is, there are just some destinations or activities that your partner may not be interested in. That's fine! I truly want to go on an African Safari with THE KIDS but he's so adamant about not going and he doesn't want me taking the kids without him so I'm only left with 2 choices in this case: not going or going solo. Nothing is worse than traveling with someone for new experiences and have to constantly look at them with a grimace across their face because they couldn't care less about what you are seeing, eating, and experiencing. Believe me, I've been there and done that and I ain't going back! If there is something he wants to experience that I'm not interested in, I tell him to go for it! Just like I did last night when he blurted out, "I'm going to Brazil!" although I do want to go there for their waterfalls and rainforests. I want him to go and live his best life, although he definitely wants to go for the women, just don't come back here with another notch on your belt cause in that case Houston we have a problem! :) I'm all for you going out to explore other areas of the world, just not areas of other women's areolas ha!

Sure, we are both human and there may bit a bit of jealousy involved when your partner goes off on their Eat, Pray, Love trip but as long as the feeling is mutual you know that you will have your turn to #turnup on your own too. You should be happy that they get to have an adventure and be supportive because your turn will come.

You'll have more to talk about besides kids + bills

Certainly some people, like a couple girlfriends of mine, can spend 7 days a week 24 hours a day with their partners and children but I. AM. NOT. ONE. OF. THEM. and I don't feel guilty about that either (and if you're still reading this I'm guessing you are not one of them either!) Does that mean that I don't love them? Absolutely not! I adore my children and I love my husband but I also LOVE ME SOME ME too and it's one of the reasons why I started this blog and my travel gear business. I wanted more for myself.

Other relationships matter too

I traveled to Belize with a girlfriend that I met in college at Clark Atlanta University. We are pretty good friends and although we live in the same city our lives are completely different and therefore we don't see each other as much as we did when in our 20s. My girlfriend relationships matter too and just like any other relationship you have to spend time cultivating, nurturing and putting forth an effort in order for them to flourish and remain strong. Our close friendships benefit from adventures and shared experiences too! Your highlight reel doesn't just have to include drinks at the bar and dancing in the clubs.

Traveling solo while married is budget friendly

With only one of you traveling your cost is greatly reduced. You are saving the cost of plane tickets, airport transfers, meals, excursion costs etc. AND one of you is still home taking care of the bills + working to earn money for your next trip. You also don't have to worry about tying up loose ends like finding someone to watch your house, dog or water the plants. I worried a little about my husband's patience when being left alone with the kids but they all survived and I didn't find a bunch of empty liquor bottles when I returned lol so I guess it's safe to say it all worked out for the best.

How do you feel about traveling solo? If you've never done it before I definitely recommend it, you need it.

Happy Travels!

#travel