The Active Parent | Motherhood Unplugged

Although this blogs platform is geared towards moms, I would be remiss if I did not shout out all the dads out there that play an active role in their children's lives. When thinking about the terms 'father' and 'dad' two different definitions come to mind and I think most people would agree that they are not one in the same. In my opinion, a dad is someone that plays an active role in his child's life. He is the man that is busy building model airplanes and lego structures with the kids on the weekends, the guy that changes diapers + makes bottles on paternity leave, the man who teaches his children to catch a ball, ride a bike and even attempts to do his daughters hair. A father is simply the biological creator of the child.

Being a parent is a tough job. In my experience, men and women often state that mothers are innately more nurturing, caring and somehow naturally more able to tend to the needs of their child simply because of their gender. With this type of thinking, the mother more often than not takes on the lions share of the child rearing while the father is given the option to step in and assist as he pleases. Not only is this way of thinking irrational and sexist, it is also completely detrimental to the stability of a family dynamic.

So if you are of the mindset that your wife/spouse/partner should and can do it all simply because of her gender I challenge you to put yourself in her shoes. No longer are we living in the age where women are to be seen and not heard nor are they only given the choice of staying at home to rear the children. Women have challenging careers managing teams of people, building successful brands and running corporations alike. Women face the same challenges in the world of business if not more than men simply because they are women. Faced with all of that after their 9-5's they are required to come home and put on the mom cape each and every day tired or not.

Children require positive influence from both parents daily. To me this means seeing you waking up everyday to chase your dreams, build your empire and complete your goals all while producing income for the family. Showing love via public displays of affection and expressing so with words of affirmation. Displaying responsibility towards ones property by teaching the kids how to care for themselves and their household via chores, cleaning and repairs. Lastly, spending quality time engaging with your family with active participation in a shared activity and conversation around what excites them the most. I am not of the mindset that we need to remain in the gender roles given to us when it comes to relationships. There are some things I do around the house that a man might typically do and vice versa. Do what works best for you but I do believe that a well run household requires equal and active participation from all parties, especially when it comes to raising children.

My husband and I recently watched Sex & Love around the World hosted by Christine Amanpour on Netflix. One of the conversations was based around 'sexless' marriages and it was quoted that a survey of men claimed that when they help out around the house + with the rearing of the children they are happier because they get more sex. This is proof that women appreciate a man who actively participates in the life he wanted of being married with children.

This reigns true to me personally as well. Nothing gets me more turned on and enthusiastic about doing the 'marital dance' with my husband after a long day other than him helping out with the kids. Securing the bag is great and all but how about those dishes or you helping the kids learn their sight words (wink wink).

Going to work all day then commuting through traffic is very draining. Believe me, I know all too well what it's like to be a working mom with that routine. In the past I've held a demanding job. I was on call 7 days per week, took my work phone on vacation, and managed our nanny. After working all day all I wanted to do was relax and chill but as a mom I knew that I had to pick up my toddler from school, come home to relieve the nanny, breastfeed + pump, prep meals, brush teeth, do bath time, read bedtime stories then get ready to do it all again the next day. It sounds like the life of a single mom but I was very married at the time. To say I was overwhelmed was an understatement. Something had to give and hence the reason why I chose to step down in my corporate position and in turn take on my new role.

My time now spent as a mompreneur is divided up a bit differently. I'm more focused on brand building + awareness, sales, collaborations and homeschooling during the day but nonetheless I couldn't do it all without the aide of my partner so THANK YOU Jason for all of your efforts to support me at home. The boys and I love + appreciate all that you do. Did you know that for some Japanese couples, saying I love you is out of the ordinary?

Have any thoughts on active parenting? Please share.

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